I can happily report that I am still the proud owner of an allotment plot thanks to the Parks and recreation manager finally seeing sense. Apparently it was covered in snow last time he went to visit!? beggars belief!
In other news only one week and a day till Christmas holidays begin!! Wooooo!
Thursday, 9 December 2010
Wednesday, 8 December 2010
Fury!!
I am absolutely furious today to find another letter from the council on my door mat giving me notice of eviction from my allotment!! I am sure you remember my previous rant about the letter I received saying that my allotment was "weedy and uncultivated" I am sure you also remember the photos of before and after showing the amount of effort Hubby and I put in to tidying it up and the resultant hole in my welly from the frantic digging that went on. Clearly all that effort and even a late night digging in the dark session that I did a few weeks ago has gone unnoticed. I was utterly fuming about it and phoned the council immediately. Luckily for him the Park Supervisor was not working today; if he had been then he would have had a piece of my mind. Instead, I ranted on the phone to his assistant and ended up bursting into tears. Not good at all. (I think the tears were not just about the allotment, I have had a pretty hard week so far, plus am very tired and not quite right hormonally.)
Anyway, I will be sure to be on the phone to Mr Parks Supervisor tomorrow ASAP to tell him about all my hard work, the fact that the ground has been frozen for the past two weeks and the fact that I have two fruit bushes, a rhubarb plant, two beds of onions, two beds of broad beans and a patch of strawberry plants in my plot that I have lovingly attended yo for he last three and a half years. Hopefully I will have calmed down a bit by tomorrow as well and will be able to talk sense without crying like a baby.
Anyway, I will be sure to be on the phone to Mr Parks Supervisor tomorrow ASAP to tell him about all my hard work, the fact that the ground has been frozen for the past two weeks and the fact that I have two fruit bushes, a rhubarb plant, two beds of onions, two beds of broad beans and a patch of strawberry plants in my plot that I have lovingly attended yo for he last three and a half years. Hopefully I will have calmed down a bit by tomorrow as well and will be able to talk sense without crying like a baby.
Tuesday, 7 December 2010
Baby bump photos
A couple of weeks ago I photographed the lovely Emma, her husband Daniel and Emma's bump. It was a fantastic photoshoot, photographing adults is sooo much easier than children and babies, especially with such gorgeous people as Emma adn Daniel (Emma actually had some modelling experience!) I was thrilled with the photos and have found it very hard to choose my favorites, here are just a few of them:
Monday, 6 December 2010
Sunday, 5 December 2010
Weekend thinking
Getting all excited about having my one extra day off from work per week and thinking of all the things that I will do with it. My main focus in going to be my art and I am hoping to apply to some exhibitions and galleries with some of the time and the rest of the time I want to be making work; after all I am not going to get very far if I haven't actually got anything to sell or exhibit.
I am panicking a bit, worrying that my work isn't the right thing, that people won't like it or buy it, that it's not good enough, but this is the kind of fear I need to face and just get over. In the past it has stopped me from moving forward and making progress, I just have to go for it. I must think about writing myself some positive affirmations to help me feel brave. Also I think once I have made more work I can feel more confident about what I am doing, I want to develop my own unique style, I almost need to re-learn how to make and do after so many years of differing my creativity. I mustn't let the fear of biggness overcome me, I can start small, I must remember that fact. Start small and work my way up to bigger things. I often feel afraid, overwhelmed, scared, when I think of the potential of everything I could do, not knowing where to start, how to move forward, I have to stop this and force myself to move, make myself be brave, even if this means pretending to be brave. Some ideas won't work, some will, I can't expect everything to be a success, there will be mistakes, tripping up, falling down along the way, I cannot, must not let this stop me moving forward or paralyse me with fear. I need to remember that there will be successes along with the failures (I hope), I need to surround myself with positive, supporting people, even if they are online. I also need to make lists and targets to help me move forward, I need to make sure that I can see the direction I am moving in, tick things and cross things off the make me feel like I am achieving something. Meeting targets is important to me, I need to see that I am doing something useful and productive with my extra day. Ooh I am excited and scared and as a result babbling! Sorry about that!
I have actually had a really nice weekend, my friend Hannah from foodrant came to visit yesterday and we went to see an exhibition in town. It was lovely to see her over lunch and a chat. I met her through the selfsufficiency forum so we spend a lot of our time chatting about selfsufficiency related things.
Then today hubby and I went to visit the parent's in-laws and went for a lovely walk on the common. It had beens snowing there so it was really beautiful. Forgot to take my camera though doh!
I am panicking a bit, worrying that my work isn't the right thing, that people won't like it or buy it, that it's not good enough, but this is the kind of fear I need to face and just get over. In the past it has stopped me from moving forward and making progress, I just have to go for it. I must think about writing myself some positive affirmations to help me feel brave. Also I think once I have made more work I can feel more confident about what I am doing, I want to develop my own unique style, I almost need to re-learn how to make and do after so many years of differing my creativity. I mustn't let the fear of biggness overcome me, I can start small, I must remember that fact. Start small and work my way up to bigger things. I often feel afraid, overwhelmed, scared, when I think of the potential of everything I could do, not knowing where to start, how to move forward, I have to stop this and force myself to move, make myself be brave, even if this means pretending to be brave. Some ideas won't work, some will, I can't expect everything to be a success, there will be mistakes, tripping up, falling down along the way, I cannot, must not let this stop me moving forward or paralyse me with fear. I need to remember that there will be successes along with the failures (I hope), I need to surround myself with positive, supporting people, even if they are online. I also need to make lists and targets to help me move forward, I need to make sure that I can see the direction I am moving in, tick things and cross things off the make me feel like I am achieving something. Meeting targets is important to me, I need to see that I am doing something useful and productive with my extra day. Ooh I am excited and scared and as a result babbling! Sorry about that!
I have actually had a really nice weekend, my friend Hannah from foodrant came to visit yesterday and we went to see an exhibition in town. It was lovely to see her over lunch and a chat. I met her through the selfsufficiency forum so we spend a lot of our time chatting about selfsufficiency related things.
Then today hubby and I went to visit the parent's in-laws and went for a lovely walk on the common. It had beens snowing there so it was really beautiful. Forgot to take my camera though doh!
Friday, 3 December 2010
Exciting News
I have exciting news for me to share today (as in it's exciting news for me that I will share with you today!)
I have been thinking and talking to my hubby, for perhaps a year or so now about reducing my days at school, but have always thought it was impossible and that they would never let me do it. Well a few weeks ago some factors came together that made me think that perhaps it would be possible for me to reduce my days per week of teaching. So I went and spoke to my headmaster and just asked about the possibility, he said he would discuss it with the deputy but thought it would be possible, so I though I would just wait it out and see what he said, pretty much thinking they would say it wouldn't work with the timetable. Next thing I know, yesterday I was told that not only is it definitely possible but it is happening!! I can't believe how quickly this has all come together. I don't know what day I will have off yet but I am really excited about it. I feel I am finally taking a step in the right directing and doing something to change my life rather than just moaning about it.
I will go down to four days per week in January and I am just itching when I think of all the things I am going to do with my extra day. My main focus will be my Art work but I will also use the time to organise more photography so I have still got that extra income. My husband and I have talked about it and said that I am going to have to be really disciplined with my time, make plans for what I am going to do, make sure I follow things through and make sure I am making money (we still have a rather large mortgage to pay after all). It would be great if I didn't have to worry about the money, but for us it is a fact of life and I just have to live with it.
I can't believe in just two weeks time I will have a new timetable and a different working week, so exciting. I can;t wait to share everything with all of you, I really hope it is going to be a success, it makes me feel very nervous, but I know I am doing the right thing.
I have been thinking and talking to my hubby, for perhaps a year or so now about reducing my days at school, but have always thought it was impossible and that they would never let me do it. Well a few weeks ago some factors came together that made me think that perhaps it would be possible for me to reduce my days per week of teaching. So I went and spoke to my headmaster and just asked about the possibility, he said he would discuss it with the deputy but thought it would be possible, so I though I would just wait it out and see what he said, pretty much thinking they would say it wouldn't work with the timetable. Next thing I know, yesterday I was told that not only is it definitely possible but it is happening!! I can't believe how quickly this has all come together. I don't know what day I will have off yet but I am really excited about it. I feel I am finally taking a step in the right directing and doing something to change my life rather than just moaning about it.
I will go down to four days per week in January and I am just itching when I think of all the things I am going to do with my extra day. My main focus will be my Art work but I will also use the time to organise more photography so I have still got that extra income. My husband and I have talked about it and said that I am going to have to be really disciplined with my time, make plans for what I am going to do, make sure I follow things through and make sure I am making money (we still have a rather large mortgage to pay after all). It would be great if I didn't have to worry about the money, but for us it is a fact of life and I just have to live with it.
I can't believe in just two weeks time I will have a new timetable and a different working week, so exciting. I can;t wait to share everything with all of you, I really hope it is going to be a success, it makes me feel very nervous, but I know I am doing the right thing.
Wednesday, 1 December 2010
Thoughts on teaching and being a child
I have come to realise that I do, in fact actually really enjoy teaching. The act of showing someone how to do something and then seeing them do it for themselves and be pleased with the results is extremely rewarding. Seeing the charge in someone when this process occurs is thrilling and beautiful.
Sadly these occasions rarely happen as an Art teacher in my school. I am absolutely not exaggerating when I say that I spend most of my time, perhaps 75% doing things other than teaching; report writing, phoning parents, tidying up, preparing for lessons, dealing with bad behaviour, sitting through meetings, marking and reading or writing emails to name but a few. This can be wholly soul destroying. Today was particularly bad, little hurts more than being told that my lessons are boring, being sworn at, shouted at and argued with, ignored and laughed at when all I want is to share my skills and knowledge, and the joy of creating.
All this makes me cross and I hate feeling cross, doing these kind of lessons does not bring out the best in me, in fact it brings out the worst; I become nasty and shouty, frantic, anxious and panicky, it's not good for me and it is not good for the kids who do want to learn. It makes me feel so sad. I never knew I could become this kind of teacher.
As a child I was so free with my creativity. I remember being at playgroup and doing potato stamping, different shapes like stars and hearts. I had had enough of the potato printing and started smearing my paint across the paper with the potato to make a rainbow. The teacher told me that I was doing it wrong.
I have become this teacher. I teach to the rules, I teach to get grades, I teach to keep the class under control. The joy and freedom I experienced smearing paint with a potato seems to have been lost in my school and in my experience as a teacher.
I desperately want to re-capture my creative and expressive free spirit that I had as a child, I feel I am slowly working towards something with the paintings I have been doing. They are not perfect expressions, but they are something. They bring me hope, they remind me of who I really am.
Sadly these occasions rarely happen as an Art teacher in my school. I am absolutely not exaggerating when I say that I spend most of my time, perhaps 75% doing things other than teaching; report writing, phoning parents, tidying up, preparing for lessons, dealing with bad behaviour, sitting through meetings, marking and reading or writing emails to name but a few. This can be wholly soul destroying. Today was particularly bad, little hurts more than being told that my lessons are boring, being sworn at, shouted at and argued with, ignored and laughed at when all I want is to share my skills and knowledge, and the joy of creating.
All this makes me cross and I hate feeling cross, doing these kind of lessons does not bring out the best in me, in fact it brings out the worst; I become nasty and shouty, frantic, anxious and panicky, it's not good for me and it is not good for the kids who do want to learn. It makes me feel so sad. I never knew I could become this kind of teacher.
As a child I was so free with my creativity. I remember being at playgroup and doing potato stamping, different shapes like stars and hearts. I had had enough of the potato printing and started smearing my paint across the paper with the potato to make a rainbow. The teacher told me that I was doing it wrong.
I have become this teacher. I teach to the rules, I teach to get grades, I teach to keep the class under control. The joy and freedom I experienced smearing paint with a potato seems to have been lost in my school and in my experience as a teacher.
I desperately want to re-capture my creative and expressive free spirit that I had as a child, I feel I am slowly working towards something with the paintings I have been doing. They are not perfect expressions, but they are something. They bring me hope, they remind me of who I really am.
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