My mothers day

Before Sunday my husband was asking me what I wanted to do for mothers day, I think he was hoping I would want to go on a trip somewhere, visit something, DO something, but my wish for the day was simple.  I wanted some flowers, some chocolates and to be on my own for a bit.  

Does that sound terrible?  I love my baby so much, and my husband of course, but for the last year I could probably count on one hand the number of hours I have spent truly alone, and I missed it.  

Of course the chocolates and the flowers were an instant win, it is kind of a tradition in my family to give/receive daffodils on Mother's Day ever since as children we had to go up to the front in church and collect a little bunch of them to take back to our mothers, (I always loved how my mum had loads of flowers because she had four children.)

I enjoyed a tasty breakfast of pastries then lunch out I had about two wonderful hours to myself and I used it to do a painting, my first since Orren was born.  I didn't write finish it unfortunately, but I did get some nice textures, layers and shapes down.  It was great to sit for a while, to not have to talk and to let the paper, glue, brushes and paint do the talking.  Here are some details.

I hope at some point I will be able to finish it, it's still out, along with all my paints, waiting for some words and a symbolic image, I am not sure what they will be yet, I will have to see where it takes me. 

One the Monday following Mothers Day, I was in the bathroom and Orren was crawling around upstairs, I thought I had packed all my paints away, then Orren crawled through onto the landing and I noticed his hands and feet had white emulsion on them, NOT good. I went into the spare room where I had been working on the floor and there was a puddle of white emulsion on the carpet.  I spent the next 40 minutes scrubbing the carpet to get it up, my hands look like an old lady's now!! Not a great start to the week, but I can laugh about it now thankfully.

What did you do for mothers day, did you see your mum?  Did you have something special to celebrate being a mum?

International Womens Day

Yesterday was International Women's day and tomorrow is Mother's Day, so with that in mind I have decided to reflect on women's current social situation, in recent times I have become concerned by the way women's equality seems to have been subtly eroding in our society.  In spite of the work many amazing women have done for women's rights and women's liberation throughout history women are still discriminated against and their status devalued in the most insidious of ways.  I listened to a radio interview with Columnist Hadley Freeman yesterday and it really struck a chord with me.
Her objection is to the use of the word "mum" or "mummy" as a prefix to many words for example entrepreneur (mumtrepreneur) suggests that the only source of value that an entrepreneurial mother might have is in the fact that she is a mother, as if her entire identity is defined by the fact she is a mother and nothing else.  Motherhood is the highest honour that can be bestowed upon any woman and to talk about it in this way is demeaning, there is even a hint of surprise in the words as if *shock horror* a woman who is a mother can do other things apart from care for children, or even, in the case of the acronym MILF that a mother might actually be attractive!
Here is a link to the really interesting interview:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p016089r
I am also a bit concerned by the current fad for an idealised 1950's lifestyle with the woman grinning inanely with a home made cake and a Cath Kidston apron.  It's as is we have gone back in time.  I obviously don't object to women staying at home to look after their children, it's what I am currently doing after all, what I dislike is the image of the subordinate woman with no brain, and of course the fact that in the 1950's the lifestyle was not a choice but more an expectation, where as my staying home is a choice amongst several options open to me.



There has also been a trend for denouncing feminism which boggles my mind a little.  I think some women want to disassociate themselves from an incorrect stereotype of a feminist which they perceive to be butch, aggressive and a man-hater, of course the definition of feminism is about equality for women (who doesn't want this right?) , I wish more women realised this. This again comes back to choice, something which feminists strongly defend.  I recently have read several blog posts and newspaper articles which criticise women for their choice for full term breastfeeding (breastfeeding for 2 years or more) this blog post from renegade mothering explains it much better than me and this one.  (I have more to say on the subject of breastfeeding actually since reading The Politics of Breastfeeding.)  Actually she just writes better than me generally, what I particularly hate is women criticising other women for their choices, now that is messed up.  I know this blog is supposed to be about everything beautiful blah blah blah, but today I feel annoyed. So back to the point, now we are attacking each other!!  That really is messed up, can't we let women choose their choices and let them be happy?
So to summarise this slightly chaotic and angry blog post, over this weekend that celebrates women in all their forms can we start to accept women for who they are and stop trying to change them into what we think they should be?