Forgivness, Sin and Guilt

I have done a few things in my life which I have lived to regret, who hasn't?  Often I didn't know I was doing things that were stupid or hurtful till after, or later and, because I am the sort of person who wants people to like me and doesn't like to hurt other people's feelings I am left racked with guilt.   In response to knowing I have done something wrong, as well as asking for forgiveness from the person I have wronged (if this is the reason for the guilt) I ask God for forgiveness, being raised in a Christian home, it is what I have been taught to do and it's what the Bible tells you to do:

1 John 1:19
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

 Acts 3:19

Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,

What I know is that I AM  forgiven by God, but I continue to beat myself up about the things I have done, I continue to feel bad about them.  For a long time I have been wondering what has gone wrong, if God has forgiven me why do I continue to feel bad, didn't the forgiveness's work? Why doesn't God take away the guilt?  

Then in a sermon the minister talked about how forgiveness is a gift that we have to accept from God and it struck me, I am not accepting God's gift of forgiveness, I don't accept that what he did was enough, I feel like I have to continue to feel bad about things in order to redeem myself for what I did wrong.  How ungrateful is that?  Jesus was horribly murdered in order to pay for my sins, receiving the punishment I deserved and yet I feel like I can somehow repay my debt by feeling bad about it!?
In the same sermon the minister referred to this Bible verse:

Interestingly I had pinned this same verse just the week before (Has God been trying to tell me something?)
So then it occurred to me, yes I am forgiven, but by not accepting the forgiveness completely and still feeling bad I am continuing to sin, it is a different sin to the original one but it is a sin nonetheless.  So I realised in order to feel forgiven I need to continuously give these feelings of guilt and shame to God.  Every time they come to mind I pass them on to Him, just like in one of my favourite hymns:

 What a friend we have in Jesus, 
 all our sins and griefs to bear! 
 What a privilege to carry 
 everything to God in prayer! 
 O what peace we often forfeit,
 O what needless pain we bear, 
 all because we do not carry 
 everything to God in prayer. 

 Have we trials and temptations? 
 Is there trouble anywhere? 
 We should never be discouraged; 
 take it to the Lord in prayer. 
 Can we find a friend so faithful 
 who will all our sorrows share? 
 Jesus knows our every weakness; 
 take it to the Lord in prayer. 

        Are we weak and heavy laden, 
 cumbered with a load of care? 
 Precious Savior, still our refuge; 
 take it to the Lord in prayer. 
 Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? 
 Take it to the Lord in prayer! 
 In his arms he'll take and shield thee; 
 thou wilt find a solace there.

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas.

Good Friday

I have been trying to think of some words to say about what God did for me that day but none of them seem good enough, I would love to tell you about what happened that day that was so amazing, but I am pretty sure I would only discredit it with my words.  Just think on this; even if you were the only person on earth, God would still have come down to die so that you can have a restored relationship with Him.  I hope you have all had a peaceful day and a chance to reflect on how much God loves you. 

Now I am 28

Twas my birthday yesterday and now I am 28 years on this beautiful planet.  I have been thinking about the future a lot, I am officially no longer in my mid twenties and am now fully in my late twenties and it is time for me to let go of a few things and move on.
Over the last few years some people who I once called my best friends have seriously let me down, confused me, saddened me and hurt me at times when they should have been happy for me and there for me, and another person who I have never considered a friend but have had in my life regardless, has led me doubt my life, my choices and my feelings, (for the worse), leaving me feeling very inadequate.
I have never felt that the feelings I have had have been fully resolved with these people and when I think about them or hear of them the old wounds open and the same feeling of pain and hurt gush out and my heart feels heavy and aches, but now I am beginning to understand that it doesn't matter because I have been put here for a greater purpose; to serve God and to glorify him in everything I do.  This knowledge gives me a sense of Peace, knowing I can rest in God's amazing purpose for my life and know that everything that has happened has taken place as part of his perfect plan.  What could be more wonderful that knowing I am here serving Him, this truly does overshadow the hurt and pain I have felt.  His purpose is greater than anything.