I was happily
On my way home I felt really cross and upset and suddenly felt like all my energy had been zapped from me, I felt cross at myself for not coming up with some witty response or argument to defend myself better, thinking about what I had said, re-running the scene in my mind wishing I had said something else. I almost felt like crying, I just wanted to go home and sit in front of the TV. I had to do some shopping so went to Asda and got a few bits, and as I was walking round feeling totally drained from the whole thing, I suddenly realised, "it's not me, it's him". He has never been horrible to me before, in fact he has been quite kind, lending me his strimmer and black plastic to cover my weeds, I had done nothing wrong to provoke such a response. I thought to myself, maybe he had had a bad day, maybe his wife had upset him before he left, maybe he has had some kind of unpleasant run in with a woman that has left him feeling emasculated, maybe he needed to make himself feel big and manly, what ever it was, it wasn't my fault he felt that way so why was I carrying the upset and the anger that he had put onto my shoulders, and suddenly I felt lighter, relieved, like a weight had been lifted, "it's not me, it's him" "it's not me it's.......(inset name of someone who has upset me in the past)". If only I had realised this a long time ago I could have lived my life without carrying other people's burdens. I am so glad that I have realised it now, and just hope that I apply it to similar situations in future, it has enabled me to feeling forgiveness, sympathy almost for people who have hurt me. "It's not me, it's them".