Friday, 12 October 2012

My life right now

I haven't logged on for a while because I have been doing a bit of thinking about where this blog is going, whether to continue with it, whether to start another blog or to keep going but with more focus.
I was this space to be more authentic, I am tired of reading blogs containing photos of the contents of the author's handbag, or photos of desirable "wish list" items for that month, or how-to's for things that are either entirely obvious or else hideous!
I have very little time on my hands these days for frivolous blog posts and I need to think about what this blog actually does for me, what it adds to my life rather than trying to get readers, or followers, or comments (although all those things are lovely), if I am not getting anything from blogging then I am not sure there is that much point in it.  Maybe that sounds selfish, but I am not sure that this blog touches enough people's lives in any significant way for it to be purely altruistic.
So I am left thinking that if this blog is a reflection of my own life, my own real life, and not a idealistic dream, then it needs to focus on what is important in my own real life. So, what is important in my life?  Well I suppose all the things that I list in my about page:

  • Self-sufficiency,
  • Environmental awareness,
  • Alternative parenting,
  • Christianity,
  • Art and craft,
  • Simple living.
It would be lovely to have a blog like soulemama but I don't take any where near enough photos...maybe I should start taking more photos...I like renegademothering but I am not as articulate, or funny.  I want to just be ME, but I am afraid people won't like me, or that they won't I am not interesting enough, or funny enough, or clever enough (actually come to think of it, these feelings stop me from doing a lot of things in life).  I have a lot of thoughts about things that I am too afraid to say in case they make people not like me.  I am a nice person, honest, but some things confuse, infuriate and annoy me, should I share those here?  Or should this blog just be all flowers and bunny rabbits?  You know, everything nice and lovely.  But that wouldn't reflect me either would it? I also have to remember that people I know and love read this blog and I don't want to offend them.  *sigh* what a middle class, western dilemma!    Put things into perspective Helen. 
Ok I am blabbering now.  Right, it's decision time.  No more blogging for hits, no more blogging for comments, I am blogging for me now, like me or loathe me.  (ooh err, that's scary)  Just REAL things, a diary of sorts. I shall see how it goes, let me know if you like it or not.

p.s. I am not even sure people who read this blog know much about me, (note to self: update "about" page)
Right, night all, I am of to a wedding tomorrow, of a couple that neither I nor my husband have ever met.  I am sure I will tell you about it!

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I love reading people's comments on what I have written, but I am not in the business of debating, this blog is my space, so if you can't say something nice, the please, don't say anything at all. If you don't like what I have written then please don't read it.