Thursday 10 June 2010

Feeing vulnerable

Hi folks,

I am feeling very fragile at the moment.  I feel like all my friends are abandoning me. 

I hadn't heard from one of my very old school friends since my wedding in July last year, she didn't send a Christmas card and when she didn't send a birthday card I decided to text her.  In her reply to me she said that I had upset all my old school friends at my wedding.  This was so upsetting to me and for the last week I have been racking my brain trying to think what it was at my wedding that I did to upset them. It was such a busy day with everyone rushing about I didn't get time to speak to any of them until it was time for them to go, so this is the only thing I can think that might have upset them.  But I don't think this would warrent her never speaking to me again.  She has done things that have upset me in the past so I think I really should just let the friendship go but I am very confused, upset and a bit angry too because I feel like there has been an injustice.

I haven't heard from another of my friends since before half term either, I posted her a pair of shoes that she left at my house and even though I sent an email and text asking if she got them I haven't heard from anything.  So now of course I am thinking "of no, did I do something to upset her" because clearly I am capable of doing this without even knowing it.

Yet another of my friends emailed me asking why I hadn't replied to her past emails and I feel really bad, I kept forgetting to reply to her because it has been really hectic, I messaged her on face book and she hasn't got back to me, even though I know she has signed on.  I have tried ringing her but there was no answer.

I don't have many friends as it is so I am feeling so anxious now that I am losing them all. 

2 comments:

  1. As we grow older we do grow away from people, our lives and theirs change and we do not share common ground any more. Try not to take it too much to heart, you have tried to make amends so now wait and see, if it is meant to be they will be back in touch soon. If they were true friends they would have realised that your wedding was both stressful and busy and should have understood regardless of what you did or didn't do. Don't feel guilty, it is their problem not yours and they are obviously missing out on a friendship with such a kind and caring person xxx

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  2. I know how you feel, I have lost touch with many of the few friends that I had. When my life gets busy I forget to answer texts or messages on Facebook, and then I become afraid that they are offended when they don't show interest in me anymore. I just try to tell myself that maybe they are busy with life too, and I shouldn't take it to heart.

    p.s. thanks so much for commenting on my blog! :) I love your blog banner btw, so cute!

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