First Hair Cut

Last week we took Orren for his first hair cut, we decided it was time because it was starting to go in his eyes and hang over his ears and generally looking a bit messy. We went to the barbers that Paul normally goes and he got his hair cut at the same time.  I was a bit emotional and worried about how his was going to be, I was certain there would be tears but we went in, I took off his coat, the lady put a sort of booster thing on the seat to lift him up, he had his cape put on and he just sat there, curiously looking around.  He was very patient for the whole thing, even the blow dryer the blow the hair away where the hairdresser had finished cutting, he just got a little bothered toward the end because he couldn't find his hands under the cape! I took loads of pictures and saved a little but of his soft blond hair.  I haven't decided what I will do with it yet, perhaps a locket or something I am not sure.  But he looks so grown up now, then next day I couldn't believe how different he looked.  Paul joked that "he's a real boy". 

Doesn't he look serious!

Thoughts on becoming a stay-at-home-mum

I have been wanting to write this post for a while now and had a few of the sentences floating round in my head.  Now I have come to finally write it I am finding my phrases imperfect and not truly reflecting the emotions I have been through over the past year, however I have gone ahead and written some words, imperfect as they are to try to describe where I am now in my life, I am sorry they aren't flowing and poetic, but I hope they show truth and I guess that's the most important thing.  I hope you can forgive me...I am tired!
On the 31st of January I officially completed my last day of maternity leave and became a full time stay at home mum (although I have to say there isn't an awful lot of staying at home involved!) I went into my school to hand in my keys and access card and say bye to the other teachers in my department, as I left school I felt a range of emotions, from sadness at leaving my job, my fellow teachers and my pupils, to joy and relief that I wasn't going to have to leave my baby boy with a nursery or child-minder, and I would get to do what I have always dreamed of, bring up my own baby and being a mum.  It wasn't an easy decision to make, losing one income in our house means making cutbacks in our daily living, lots of compromises and penny pinching.  I also have a strange shadow of a feeling of losing part of myself somehow.  I don't relish the thought of not being employed, particularly not having my own money but also losing a substantial part of my identity, teaching art is part of who I am and I am not going to have that any more, I certainly feel like I am losing a small amount of independence, it's something I am still getting my head around, but trying to accept that I have a new job now, the most wonderful and important job I will ever and could ever do.
As I drove home, my little mad sleeping in the back, Lady GaGa on the CD player, I reflected on the past year, on the highs and lows and on what a challenging year it has been.  As well as the most wonderful experiences and emotions, at times I have also felt broken, torn apart, vulnerable and insecure.  It has definitely been the hardest year of my life.  And as stressful and frustrating as teaching has been at times nothing has compared to how hard it is being a parent.  I used to think it was hard work being a teacher, going to work every day, teaching unappreciative children, working long hours, often thankless and sometimes depressing, but I didn't know anything!  I didn't have a clue about how hard life could be until I became a parent. Giving birth has defiantly scarred me, it broke me open, both physically and emotionally and I am still recovering.  Looking after a tiny baby who doesn't...can't thank you, the breastfeeding, the wakeful nights, the feeling of desperation when your precious baby is crying and nothing...nothing seems to make him feel better.  The hours I spent walking in circles around the green opposite my house soothing him to sleep in the carrier, these are all just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to actually looking after a baby. 
And I now have so so much admiration for my parents, my mother particularly, and mothers everywhere.  To me there really is nothing harder than being pregnant, giving birth and being a mother.  I can't even being to imagine how hard it must be for women who desperately want to stay home with their babes and for financial reasons they have to go back to work, I know how lucky I am that statying at home was an option for me.  And don't get me wrong, I chose it, I wanted it, it was, is a dream that for a long time I never thought would come true.  And I LOVE it.
On Monday my gorgeous boy turns one and I will reflect on the day my life changed forever and do you know what, we may not have much money but I couldn't be happier. And I can't wait to continue sharing my life with you, hopefully more frequently in future even if I am clumsy with my words and stumble on my phrasing, I have found writing this blog helpful in enabling me to reflect on life, so as sparse as it is sometimes, I still love it.

Is he gorgeous or what??

Attachment Parenting - What I do

You might have read a few of my posts that touched on the subject of attachment parenting, but I haven't really gone into detail about how I practice it with my little boy, so I thought I would dedicate a whole post to the subject so you can understand my point of view of the parenting technique and perhaps see something you like and maybe take it up for yourself.

I became familiar with attachment parenting when I was looking for a parenting book that fitted with my desire for a technique that was based on following my natural instincts.  I looked on Amazon and came across a book called The Continuum Concept by Jean Leidloff, I was already familiar with the concept after watching a TV programme many years ago called Bringing up baby, it had struck a chord with me which obviously stuck, I noticed another book that many people who bought The Continuum Concept had also bought, called The Attachment Parenting Book by William and Martha Sears. After reading the blurb and some reviews I thought it sounded just like what I was interested in so I bought both books.
I found The Continuum Concept difficult to read and wasn't sure how to apply the techniques in real life, The Attachment Parenting Book was far more accessible and easy to read. I understood straight away how to apply the techniques in real life, and liked the fact that it wasn't an all-or-nothing approach to parenting, but you could pick and choose what suited your lifestyle.  The principles of Attachment Parenting are the 7 Baby B's which are:
Bonding at Birth - Holding your baby after it's born, having skin-to-skin contact and keeping him near you, (generally this in encouraged in UK hospitals anyway),
Breastfeeding - The nutritional benefits aren't rammed down your throat, it is more about the opportunity to bond and to become more attached to you baby, and for baby to become more attached to you.  They say that you can still be an attached parent if you bottle feed, it's about the way you do it.
Baby Wearing - Carrying baby in a sling or otherwise, they encourage this for about 4 hours per day.
Bedding close to baby - Co-sleeping,
Belief in the language of baby's cries - Responding when baby's cries, learning what it's different cries mean,
Beware of baby trainers - Trying to take no notice of people who tell you to let baby cry, who encourage controlled crying, who tell you your baby will become clingy etc.
and Balance - Making sure you are happy with using the principles of Attachment Parenting in your own way, adapting it to your lifestyle, not following it like a strict regime.

I found some these principles easier to follow than others:

• Bonding at birth wasn't too much of a problem, the hospital encouraged skin-to-skin contact after Orren was born and fortunately I was able to keep him with me after birth, I held him for most of our first night together which was lovely, although I didn't get much sleep!  
• Breastfeeding was OK once I got the hang of it (Read this for more on my thoughts about breastfeeding),I am still feeding him now, although am pretty tired of wearing frumpy old nursing bras.
• I have always responded to Orren's cries and have never left him to cry, I have not yet been able to understand the meaning of each of his cries on a concious level, but I think sub-consciously I must be responding correctly, because he rarely cries for more than a few minutes a day, and I seem to know what he wants and what to do without thinking too much about it.  I am afraid I really cannot understand people who practice controlled crying, it seems cruel to me.  I think you have to be very special parents and have a very special baby for the controlled crying technique to work without breaking your heart and that of your baby's,
• Being aware of baby trainers has been interesting because they come in the most unlikely forms of friends and family members. It can be difficult to ignore what they say when they are just trying to help, at times I have considered some of their suggestions, but fortunately not for long!  And I have managed to stand my ground so far.  I am always surprised when I speak to other mums who say they have used Gina Ford's techniques, I looked on her website and she said that she must be doing something right because she sells X number of books, but I just think parents want an answer to the complicated  confusing, unpredictable thing that is a new baby and often realising that there isn't an answer helps you become more relaxed and to go with the flow of your baby instead of trying to fit them round your internal clock.
• Balance has been good and I am so glad that this is included in the baby b's, as it has enabled me to not worry too much about the fact that I haven't followed the principles to the letter, that's the whole point of it, the technique is designed so that parents don't get stressed out by it and so they don't feel ruled by it.  Other parenting books make you feel like a falier if you haven't been able to follow through with some technique or other, but not Attachment Parenting.

Others I have struggled with:

• Baby wearning has been a bit difficult because I have found myself getting a bad back after carrying Orren for too long.  It wasn't too bad at first because he was small and light and I could wear him on my front without him getting too much in the way when doing housework etc. But as time has passed I have found it more and more difficult.  I need a carrier so I can out him on my back, but haven't got round to making one yet.  However, I always have him facing me in the cot, and do try to carry him a lot during the day.
• Bedding close to baby has been difficult, we have Orren in a little cot next to our bed but he often ends up in bed with us from about 3.00am when he wakes.  I couldn't have him in bed with us all night because I get really uncomfortable and have even ended up with a frozen neck!  I don't feel bad about it though because he is right next to us and I always pick him up when he cries.  My main concern now is that he won;t fit into his little cot soon and then he will have to go into his own room :(

As my parenting journey continues I have found a whole community of people who share my philosophy over at naturalmamas and I have found out more and more about ways to be a natural parent.  At the moment we are having a go at Baby Led Weaning and I am reading up on gentle discipline in Unconditional Parenting.  It's such an exciting journey and I am loving it.  I am so glad I found out about Attachment Parenting.  Don't believe they hype, find out about it for yourself, you will probably be pleasantly surprised to find that you are already following many of the principles.  

Fun things to do with your baby - Part 2: Fabric play

It can be difficult with a small baby to find fun things to do with them to fill the many hours of the day that you now suddenly have to occupy, My baby is now just over 6 month old and I feel I am well versed with providing entertaining activities for him and think you might be interested to find out what they are if you are ever stuck for ideas. This is the second in a series of posts like this with different ideas for fun things to do with your baby, often each activity could only last a few minutes, or sometimes they might be much longer activities.

This time I am looking at fabric play.  Exploring the qualities of fabric can be both a stimulating and a learning experience for young babies, they can learn about the different textures and weights of fabric as well as it's flexibility or stiffness and a number of other qualities.  I bought a selection of different fabrics with a variety of textures for Orren to play with, he likes to scratch on them as well as put them in his mouth and run his tongue (which is super sensitive right now) over in order to have a really good exploration of it's qualities. I also made some into little comforter cloths which are a more manageable size for taking out with us or for playing with in locations where letting the fabric drag on the floor is not appropriate, like in the garden.  (I will do a tutorial on how to make on at some point!)

I also play with the fabrics with Orren to make the play experience more interactive.  I gently stroke different textures across his face, (he especially likes the net), and I wave the silky fabric over him so he can experience the way it changes in the light, as well as the feel against his skin.  The fabric also gives an opportunity or playing peek-a-boo games.

Here is Orren enjoying the comforter I made for him (is that what they are called?)

And here is Orren with his friends enjoying the net: 

Fabrics that are fun and interesting for babies to explore include:

Net, satin, corduroy, velvet, leatherette, hessian, chenniel and faux fur.

Be sure to hem and fabric you give to babies and make sure any of the pile won't come lose because it could be a chocking hazard. 

Can you think of any other fabrics to add to this list?   What other games could you play with fabrics?

Fun things to do with your baby - Part 1: Bubbles

It can be difficult with a small baby to find fun things to do with them to fill the many hours of the day that you now suddenly have to occupy, My baby is now 6 month old I feel I am well versed with providing entertaining activities for him and think you might be interested to find out what they are if you are ever stuck for ideas.  I hope to do a series of posts like this with different ideas for fun things to do with your baby, often each activity could only last a few minutes, or sometimes they might be much longer activities.

For the first part of this series I thoughts I would begin with a really fun activity (especially for mums and dads)  and babies find it fascinating too.  Blowing bubbles!
I sit my little by in the garden in his bumbo or lie him on his play mat on the grass, or even sit him in the door way and blow small bubbles from a cheap 99p tube over him, in front of him, on top of him... he finds it fascinating, he tries to catch them and looks for where they are going.  It is a complete sensory experience as he can not only watch them, but also feel them popping on his skin and hear the delicate popping sound they make when they explode on the patio or against a fence etc.  This is a great activity which you can do with your baby from birth and I hope when he gets older bubbles will be a fantastic educational tool to aid in learning.

Here is my little bubba watching the bubbles with interest:

What simple, cheap but fun activities do you do with your baby?

My world now

Just looking at this beautiful face all day:

Oh and changing nappies, feeding and stacks and stacks of laundry!