Getting all excited about having my one extra day off from work per week and thinking of all the things that I will do with it. My main focus in going to be my art and I am hoping to apply to some exhibitions and galleries with some of the time and the rest of the time I want to be making work; after all I am not going to get very far if I haven't actually got anything to sell or exhibit.
I am panicking a bit, worrying that my work isn't the right thing, that people won't like it or buy it, that it's not good enough, but this is the kind of fear I need to face and just get over. In the past it has stopped me from moving forward and making progress, I just have to go for it. I must think about writing myself some positive affirmations to help me feel brave. Also I think once I have made more work I can feel more confident about what I am doing, I want to develop my own unique style, I almost need to re-learn how to make and do after so many years of differing my creativity. I mustn't let the fear of biggness overcome me, I can start small, I must remember that fact. Start small and work my way up to bigger things. I often feel afraid, overwhelmed, scared, when I think of the potential of everything I could do, not knowing where to start, how to move forward, I have to stop this and force myself to move, make myself be brave, even if this means pretending to be brave. Some ideas won't work, some will, I can't expect everything to be a success, there will be mistakes, tripping up, falling down along the way, I cannot, must not let this stop me moving forward or paralyse me with fear. I need to remember that there will be successes along with the failures (I hope), I need to surround myself with positive, supporting people, even if they are online. I also need to make lists and targets to help me move forward, I need to make sure that I can see the direction I am moving in, tick things and cross things off the make me feel like I am achieving something. Meeting targets is important to me, I need to see that I am doing something useful and productive with my extra day. Ooh I am excited and scared and as a result babbling! Sorry about that!
I have actually had a really nice weekend, my friend Hannah from foodrant came to visit yesterday and we went to see an exhibition in town. It was lovely to see her over lunch and a chat. I met her through the selfsufficiency forum so we spend a lot of our time chatting about selfsufficiency related things.
Then today hubby and I went to visit the parent's in-laws and went for a lovely walk on the common. It had beens snowing there so it was really beautiful. Forgot to take my camera though doh!